Can someone help revise my rough draft for an argumentative paper | Quick Homework Help

I’m studying and need help with a English question to help me learn.

After receiving feedback on your rough draft, you should have made significant changes to your rough draft. This week you will submit your final, revised draft of your researched argument paper.

The final draft of your essay should meet the following guidelines:

• is between 900 and 1200 words in length;
• includes direct quotations and paraphrased passages from four or more scholarly texts representing more than one side of the issue;
• qualifies each of the authors (authors representing each side of the debate should have compatible credibility);
• withholds personal opinion until the conclusion of the essay;
• is written clearly, concisely, and accurately;
• is written primarily in third-person;
• includes a References page;
• has been closely edited so that it contains few or no mechanical errors.

Researched Argument Checklist: Use this to evaluate your rough draft against the assignment requirements:

• Does this essay present a clear argument on a topic?
• Does this essay treat two sides of the argument equally and fairly?
• Does the essay cite, at minimum, four scholarly sources?
• Are the authors for the articles qualified? Who are they? Use signal phrases/attributive tags to introduce the authors.
• What is the purpose of this essay? What does it do to meet that purpose? How effective is the argument?
• Does this essay avoid second person language and limit first person language?
• Are there elements of pathos, ethos, and logos in this essay? Do these appeals work together to propose a solution?
• Does the essay avoid logical fallacy in the reasoning behind the solution?
• Does the essay use APA in-text citation and is there an APA format references page?

I have attached the rough draft as well as some feedback received.