ENG101 City Colleges Canadian Applying for US Citizenship Article Essay I received feedback from my professor and tutor. I need to add more detail to my es

ENG101 City Colleges Canadian Applying for US Citizenship Article Essay I received feedback from my professor and tutor. I need to add more detail to my essay. You can enhance my paper.

This is the feedback I received from my professor:

here should be introductory information as well as a clearly stated thesis. I’m really not sure of the focus here. Remember to base the writing on the article. Some suggestions for writing are:

What does it mean to be an American?

• How do we feel about our rights under the law?

• How do we feel about other people’s rights under the law?

• What should we do to improve the places where we live (neighborhoods, cities, counties, states, country)?

Please read the feedback from the tutor where they state changes need to be made.

Please read the article and answer this question.

For “I’m a Canadian, and I’m Applying for US Citizenship” answer the following:

What conceptions of citizenship do you think different groups of voters had in the 2016 presidential election? How do these conceptions affect people in the United States now? Pearson Tutor Services Response Form
Your tutor has written overview comments about your essay in the form below. Your tutor has also
embedded comments [in bold and in brackets] throughout your essay. Thank you for choosing
Pearson Tutor Services’ Online Writing Center to help you improve your writing!
Welcome back, LaTeesha! I’m Anna B., and I’ll help with a third submission of your essay about
citizenship in the United States after the 2016 presidential election. Let’s begin.
*Writing Strength:
You describe what the current green card system is like in the first paragraph:
Since 2016, these laws have taken an even worse turn. President Trump has enforced new
immigration laws that only allow green cards to be awarded to spouses and minor children. The green
cards are being awarded on basis of a point system that determines who qualifies and who does not.
This is contrary to the system that existed before that allowed all children and spouses to be awarded
green cards.
The information is good reference to understand how more difficult it is now to become an American
citizen than before. 🙂
*LaTeesha 11053262 has requested that you respond to the Main Idea/Thesis:
Your introduction lacks a thesis statement, so your overall response to the two main assignment
questions: “What conceptions of citizenship do you think different groups of voters had in the 2016
presidential election? How do these conceptions affect people in the United States now?” is not clearly
established. Your reader has no guide or starting point to understand how to analyze this topic,
LaTeesha. A thesis statement is where you declare a main arguable point about American citizenship
and how the understanding of it now affects various people, so you need a sentence or two that
reflects this claim. To help you make a thesis statement, consider these points:
Identify first what are the major perceptions or ideas of American citizenship based on what
happened during and after the 2016 elections.
Specify what are the major consequences or outcomes of these conceptions to those living in
America today, especially immigrants – legal or illegal.
The key details that directly respond to these points are what you can show in a thesis statement. You
can then show this thesis statement at the end of your introduction.
Content Development
You lack topic sentences that reflect the different conceptions of American citizenship and their major
impacts on the American people. Thus, the discussion is not structured well, and your reader can have
a hard time following you. A topic sentence will reflect a major point that reinforces your thesis, but as
an example, look at how you begin one of the paragraphs:
‘America is a melting pot, the land of the free and most immigrants value those beliefs about
America but the night that would boost our shared faith in this country, trust and hope were broken.’
(I’m A Canadian and I’m Applying for U.S. Citizenship) and for that reason, some do not or may not
want to take the Oath of Allegiance under President Trump and may delay the process of submitting a
naturalization application.
The sentence contains a direct quote, which is a supporting detail; you’re not showing a major point at
all, LaTeesha. Again, you have two interrelated major parts in your assignment: the different
conceptions of citizenship and their impact on the American people. Thus, your topic sentences need
to reflect key points related to these two assignment requirements. Check these questions to help you
make the needed topic sentences:
What is one concept or idea of American citizenship that was/is seen during and after the 2016
presidential election?
What is one major outcome the different conceptions had on the American people, especially
immigrants?
*LaTeesha 11053262 has requested that you respond to the Introduction/Conclusion:
I notice that the body section contains details from Kachroo-Levine’s article, but by doing so, you
unnecessarily lengthen the source article’s information and make the discussion for the two major
assignment prompts “shorter.” The author’s experience looks more fitting to be just background
information, LaTeesha. The author’s anxiety in becoming a U.S. citizen may be included in the first
paragraph, but the body paragraphs now need to focus on responding to the two assignment prompts.
Look at the first few paragraphs you have so far and see which details you need to retain, rearrange,
and discard.
Summary of Next Steps:
•
•
•
Create a thesis statement that directly answers the assignment questions.
Develop topic sentences.
Incorporate Kachroo-Levine’s experience in the introduction.
Thank you for submitting again, LaTeesha! – Anna B.
_________________________________________________________________________________
Please look for more comments [in bold and in brackets] in your essay below.
Thank you for submitting your work to Pearson Tutor Services! We hope to see you again soon.
Name
English 101 WW9 HW
Professor Williams
April 25, 2019
‘I’m a Canadian and I’m Applying for U.S Citizenship’
After reading the article, “I’m a Canadian and I’m Applying for U.S. Citizenship”, the
author Maya Kachroo-Levin is feeling weary about becoming a U.S. citizen due to the presidentelect Donald Trump being in office. She is one in many immigrants on questioning themselves if
they still want to become a citizen of the USA. The immigration laws of the US have existed for
a long time since the independence of the US. These laws have been amended over the years and
seem to be becoming stricter as the days go by. Since 2016, these laws have taken an even worse
turn. President Trump has enforced new immigration laws that only allow green cards to be
awarded to spouses and minor children. The green cards are being awarded on basis of a point
system that determines who qualifies and who does not. This is contrary to the system that
existed before that allowed all children and spouses to be awarded green cards.
During Donald Trump’s campaign for president, he said some very hateful things and
have been accused of some very inappropriate behavior, from belittling and wanting to deport
immigrants to alleged sexual assault accusations. Just as expected, he denied these charges. One
of these women goes by the name Jill Harth. She claims that Trump attempted to rape her in
1997. His own ex-wife accused him of rape during their divorce proceedings. [← The
assignment asks you to focus on how different groups view citizenship during the 2016
presidential elections and their impact on the people there now. Mentioning accusations of
rape is irrelevant to the assignment, LaTeesha. You want to make sure that the discussion
identifies and analyzes these conceptions or perspectives and their effects. Discard any
details that are not directly following the assignment instruction.]
The methods used by Trump to handle immigration issues is very different from how the
previous presidents have been handling immigrants in the US. Before 2016, it was easier to get a
green card and be accepted as a US citizen. Now, one has to fulfill a long list of criteria in order
to be accepted as an American citizen. Initially, one could qualify for a green card through
family, employment, refugees or asylum status, as a special immigrant, registry, victim of abuse,
human trafficking and crime victims. However, the new system requires ones to qualify on basis
of the skills one possesses.
Maya Kachroo-Levin has been in the United States for 23 years where she received her
education and is very familiar with the United States laws, but she is very familiar with being
able to exercise your rights to vote in the leaders of your choice. However, she does not want to
become a slave to her visa because she has to carry it everywhere, she goes. Since Trump has
become President of the United States, she has been undecided about applying for U.S
Citizenship. He has talked about implementation of a strict crackdown on all immigrants in the
US, despite their origin. Maya dreads the day she becomes a US citizen but is terrified of living
in the county she calls home. This has heavily influenced her decision to stall her application for
becoming a US citizen. This will be a tough decision for her.
Now that the election is over, Kachroo-Levine needs to decide if she wants to apply to
become a citizen. Being an American seems to become defined in so many ways, and not only
should immigrants worry about their future in America but all Americans should worry about the
future of America while Donald Trump is the president. Some American citizens seem to be in
agreement with Trump’s opinion. They believe that the introduction of the stricter rules that
determine who becomes an American citizen is the way to go. These are part of the racist beliefs
that still exist in the US today.
Being an American can be defined in many ways depending on who you are. ‘Being
American means protection by the law, anyone can say whatever they want and even if I don’t
agree with them, they’re still protected by the law it’s my job to enforce. That’s their freedom.
That’s their right.’ —Sean Larkin, 40, sergeant with the gang unit Tulsa Police Department in
Tulsa, Oklahoma. ‘Being American is red, white, and blue and being free. It doesn’t matter what
language you speak; if you’re born in America, you’re still American. No matter what you look
like, no matter what.’ —Sebastien de la Cruz, 12, student who attained attention, and backlash,
after singing the national anthem in the 2013 NBA finals in a mariachi outfit, (Facing History
and Ourselves).
‘America is a melting pot, the land of the free and most immigrants value those beliefs
about America but the night that would boost our shared faith in this country, trust and hope
were broken.’ (I’m A Canadian and I’m Applying for U.S. Citizenship) and for that reason, some
do not or may not want to take the Oath of Allegiance under President Trump and may delay the
process of submitting a naturalization application. The words of all these citizens and immigrants
of the US is evidence enough that every American and immigrant have a different opinion about
what being American is all about. However, the common thing amongst all of them is that the
immigrants are all terrified of the current President, Donald Trump. Just like Maya, many other
immigrants have delayed their application for their US citizenship because of the threats issued
against immigrants by the president.
After Trump became president you have immigrants not sure about their future in America.
[How do these immigrants, legal or otherwise, view American citizenship in the context of
the 2016 presidential election? You may need to add this idea to your topic sentence.] They
are in fear if they are still able to become a citizen or will they be deported because it is what
Trump said during his campaign before and after he became president. Permanent residents can
be deported back to their home lands and green cards revoked. This can happen in the event a
felony, drug trafficking crime or moral issues are detected amongst the immigrants. The
naturalization applications spiked just before Trump’s election and plunged shortly after. This is
a result of the strict laws and the wall he promised to put up between America and Mexico.
Generally speaking, a person can become a U.S. citizen through parents or by birth in one of
three ways:
•
By being born in the U.S. or one of its territories (“birthright” citizenship)
•
By being born to parents who are U.S. citizens (“acquisition” of citizenship)
•
You may be a citizen if one or both parents have been naturalized (“derivation” of
citizenship) (Findlaw).
If either or all of the above three criteria have been met by US immigrants, it should go
without saying that they should be accepted as US citizens without much fuss. These criteria
have been stated in the constitution and any individual who meets any of these criteria should not
be discriminated against. As Americans and immigrants in America, we should all feel safe
about our human rights under the law but Trump has focused on immigrants and refugees,
referring to them as criminals and a security threat; supported racist politics by equivocating on
white nationalism; and consistent championing of anti-Muslim policies. His administration
welcomed policies that rolls back access to women’s reproductive health care; advocated for
reforms in health insurance leaving numerous Americans unable to access affordable health-care;
and undermining police accountability in regard to abuse.
Trump has previously stated his disregard pertaining independent media and his actions have
been barred by the federal courts. He has recurrently coddled leaders, who are autocrats, while
showing no interest in advocating for respect for human right abroad. Individuals at risk of
suffering abuse in the US are usually unable to defend their rights when arraigned in court.
Numerous groups which are vulnerable underwent renewed attacks regarding their rights at
various instances in the year. Other longstanding laws in the United States that majored on
juvenile and criminal justice, national security and immigration, kept on violating human rights
that are internationally recognized. (World Report 2018: United States). [You need concrete
examples from this research information to validate and strengthen how different
perspectives towards American citizenship have impacted people living in the country
today. Consider adding actual situations or statistics here.] There is something we as
Americans should do about these unjust circumstances.
In conclusion, the rest of the world is baffled at the ideas that America is redesigning its
entire citizenship system since 2016. This can all be attributed to Trump. In addition to this, the
lines of racial discrimination continue to exist as time goes by. Several people who belong to the
minority, such as Maya, are terrified at what might happen if they decide to apply for American
citizenship. Under Trumps leadership, America may not be such a good place to be for
minorities. Therefore, as Americans need to have a bipartisan attitude if we want to make a better
place again. American can be great but we have to agree to disagree on things that are for the
greater good – we have to listen to the people to get an idea on what is needed to make this
country great and that will not happen if our elected politicians are not trying to relate to the
general public. The general public is what make up the majority of this country and if it is not
functioning right then this country will not function.
Cited works
Facing History and Ourselves. “What Does it Mean to “Be American”?” (n.d.). Retrieved from
https://www.facinghistory.org/my-part-story/what-does-it-mean-be-american
Fadulu, Lola; Merelli, Annalisa & Zhou, Youyou. “Could you migrate to the US, Canada, or
Hong Kong? Check our merit calculator.” February 2018. Retrieved from
https://qz.com/1049331/merit-based-immigration-where-could-you-move/
Findlaw. “U.S. Citizenship Through Parents or by Birth.” (n.d.). Retrieved from
https://immigration.findlaw.com/citizenship/u-s-citizenship-through-parents-or-bybirth.html
Human Rights Watch. “United States: Events of 2017.” January 2017. Retrieved from
https://www.hrw.org/world-report/2018/country-chapters/united-states
Kachroo- Levine, Maya. “I’m a Canadian and I’m Applying for U.S. Citizenship.” November,
2016. Retrieved from http://time.com/4566968/canadian-us-citizenship/
Valenti, . “Don’t Stop Talking About the Trump Sex Assault Allegations.” March 2018.
Retrieved from https://medium.com/s/-valenti/dont-stop-talking-about-the-trump-sexassault-allegations-477f622cdd16
Name
English
Professor
April 25, 2019
‘I’m a Canadian and I’m Applying for U.S Citizenship’
After reading the article, “I’m a Canadian and I’m Applying for U.S. Citizenship”, the
author Maya Kachroo-Levin is feeling weary about becoming a U.S. citizen due to the presidentelect Donald Trump being in office. She is one in many immigrants on questioning themselves if
they still want to become a citizen of the USA. The immigration laws of the US have existed for
a long time since the independence of the US. These laws have been amended over the years and
seem to be becoming stricter as the days go by. Since 2016, these laws have taken an even worse
turn. President Trump has enforced new immigration laws that only allow green cards to be
awarded to spouses and minor children. The green cards are being awarded on basis of a point
system that determines who qualifies and who does not. This is contrary to the system that
existed before that allowed all children and spouses to be awarded green cards.
During Donald Trump’s campaign for president, he said some very hateful things and
have been accused of some very inappropriate behavior, from belittling and wanting to deport
immigrants to alleged sexual assault accusations. Just as expected, he denied these charges. One
of these women goes by the name Jill Harth. She claims that Trump attempted to rape her in
1997. His own ex-wife accused him of rape during their divorce proceedings.
The methods used by Trump to handle immigration issues is very different from how the
previous presidents have been handling immigrants in the US. Before 2016, it was easier to get a
green card and be accepted as a US citizen. Now, one has to fulfill a long list of criteria in order
to be accepted as an American citizen. Initially, one could qualify for a green card through
family, employment, refugees or asylum status, as a special immigrant, registry, victim of abuse,
human trafficking and crime victims. However, the new system requires ones to qualify on basis
of the skills one possesses.
Maya Kachroo-Levin has been in the United States for 23 years where she received her
education and is very familiar with the United States laws, but she is very familiar with being
able to exercise your rights to vote in the leaders of your choice. However, she does not want to
become a slave to her visa because she has to carry it everywhere, she goes. Since Trump has
become President of the United States, she has been undecided about applying for U.S
Citizenship. He has talked about implementation of a strict crackdown on all immigrants in the
US, despite their origin. Maya dreads the day she becomes a US citizen but is terrified of living
in the county she calls home. This has heavily influenced her decision to stall her application for
becoming a US citizen. This will be a tough decision for her.
Now that the election is over, Kachroo-Levine needs to decide if she wants to apply to
become a citizen. Being an American seems to become defined in so many ways, and not only
should immigrants worry about their future in America but all Americans should worry about the
future of America while Donald Trump is the president. Some American citizens seem to be in
agreement with Trump’s opinion. They believe that the introduction of the stricter rules that
determine who becomes an American citizen is the way to go. These are part of the racist beliefs
that still exist in the US today.
Being an American can be defined in many ways depending on who you are. ‘Being
American means protection by the law, anyone can say whatever they want and even if I don’t
agree with them, they’re still protected by the law it’s my job to enforce. That’s their freedom.
That’s their right.’ —Sean Larkin, 40, sergeant with the gang unit Tulsa Police Department in
Tulsa, Oklahoma. ‘Being American is red, white, and blue and being free. It doesn’t matter what
language you speak; if you’re born in America, you’re still American. No matter what you look
like, no matter what.’ —Sebastien de la Cruz, 12, student…
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